


... That Moment When Last Night's Hooker Turns Out To Be A Royal Asgardian God

by CallingAllSinners



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, Flashbacks, Hangover, Hooker Loki, I can't write Pepper, Loki's Eyebrows (do it for me), M/M, Mild Language, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Torture, Poor Loki, Prostitution, Realms!Verse, Sex before introductions, Tony Is So Screwed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-07-19
Packaged: 2018-07-24 04:30:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7493883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CallingAllSinners/pseuds/CallingAllSinners
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In 1969, Asgard saw the humans’ moon landing as a sign it was time to reinstate relations with Midgard, and so the realms are now as close with Earth as had been with each other. Nowadays, the hottest celebs are Æsir, the fashion is Vanir, and the gossip mags are teeming with scandals from Nidavellir.<br/>Tony Stark gets drunk one night, and in some backstreet brothel is offered a lookalike of the royal family’s youngest, Loki. Seeing the irony in banging the lookalike of a diplomat he’s having brunch with the next day, Tony accepts.<br/>The next day when he sees Loki in real life for the first time, he is much more impressed with the brothel owner’s choice of product. But, when Loki, son of Odin Allfather, Prince of Asgard, God of Mischief and Fire opens his mouth and sounds a little too much like last night’s prostitute to be an accident, Tony knows he is well and truly screwed.</p><div class="center">
  <p>~ O ~</p>
</div>‘A pleasure to finally meet you, Mister Stark. I’ve heard great things.’<br/>All Tony could do was give a too-wide smile as he took the god’s hand, which was cold. Loki’s smile barely reached his eyes.
            </blockquote>





	1. Naming

**Author's Note:**

> I have terrible self-confidence and as such can’t bring myself to ask anyone to beta this for me. Therefore, I apologise for the surely many mistakes. I also apologise for the stupidly try-hard, archaic language. The dictionary is my only friend. Deal with it, and throw your rotten vegetables at the end of the chapter.  
> I have changed around the ages of Thor and Loki a bit, because I like to hear them brag about being thousands of years old. So, even though Loki’s canon age is about one thousand, I’ve made he and Thor a few thousand years older.  
> Enjoy, fools.

_’Good morning, Sir.’_  
Tony wrinkled his nose and took a deep breath as he woke up, stretching out over his bed and silently cursing Jarvis and his too-cheery wake up calls, the timing of which was long ago requested by Pepper.  
‘Volume,’ Tony croaked, coughing and trying to wet his dry, stale mouth which somehow tasted of coconut, content to just lie there and enjoy how paralysed his eyelids felt. ‘Volume down.’  
A pause, then quieter: _‘The time is twenty-to-eight, weather forecast reads sunny at twenty-one degrees, Sir, with overcast conditions in the afternoon.’_  
Tony just gave a half-assed smile as thanks, and let himself relax again. Just as he was drifting off, Jarvis spoke again.  
_‘Sir, I really do suggest you wake swiftly.’_  
‘… But I am awake, Jay.’ Tony mumbled into his pillow.  
_‘You have a nine-thirty meeting, Sir, of great importance.’_  
‘Five more minutes,’ Tony whispered.  
_‘Sir, Ms. Potts’s instructions were to not let you meet the visiting Asgardian dignitaries princes Thor and Loki if you were still smelling of alcohol, and seeing as how Director Fury has instructed all Avengers to be present at the meeting, I’m afraid we’re at a bit of an impasse.’_ Jarvis said, his tone making Tony chuckle, who became very much awake at the mention of a certain prince.  
‘Okay, Jay, you’ve got my attention.’ Tony said, rolling out of bed and landing deftly on his feet. The world swayed for a minute but Jarvis had started the shower, so Tony simply shuffled toward the sound, stripping as he went.  
The memory of Loki left a goofy smile on the billionaire’s face. Not the real Loki, of course— he had never met the second heir to... Well, _everything_ , but he had seen pictures and was undoubtedly interested in amending that. However, he had enjoyed a delightful taste the night before. Tony couldn’t help but laugh as the memories of last night’s devilry came back to him as he stepped under the spray of water, automatically at his preferred hangover temperature. The drinks, the girls… The whispered offer of something special, just for him, if he was interested. Tony, a firm believer in enjoying the _special_ things in life, gladly accepted, and proceeded to be very satisfied indeed.  
Tony had been very much aware of the important day he had in the morning, but the offer of banging a Loki-lookalike just hours before actually sitting down and cordially having drinks and chit-chatting with the alien prince was mischief that was too good to pass up.  
Tony bit his lip as his hand palmed his tool, growing semi-hard at the memory. He’d been surprised when there was no one in the mysterious back room to greet him, but as soon as he sat down on the silk-clad bed, smooth hands dusted over his shoulders from behind, and Tony found himself with a lapful of a hooker much too beautiful to be working in a backstop like this. All it took was a soft peck on the lips and a sensuous whisper that had Tony straining in his pants, and a soft nibble at his neck before Tony let himself _enjoy._  
If his drunken glances at his overpriced watch were correct, he and “Loki” hadn’t left that room for hours. In fact, according to Jarvis’s announcement of the time, he’d been home for less than three.  
Tony smiled to himself as he remembered the soft caresses in between hard grips on sinewy muscle, the soft coos of pleasure and the surprised growls of pain. Tony’s dick was practically tingling in his hand as he remembered the glowing green eyes that _must’ve_ been contacts, and with a few hard tugs, came.  
Refusing to let himself feel any shame for the act whatsoever, Tony quickly washed the smell of stale fucking and cheap cigarettes off of himself, and asked Jarvis to pick out a suit for the day. 

~ O ~

‘Is there anything we need to know? Like something to not do?’ Steve asked Fury for the fifth time that hour. The black-clad man just sighed and said as long as the day didn’t end with a promise of intergalactic war, they will have done fine.  
‘Just be yourself, Captain, you’ll be fine.’ Fury said.  
‘Hear that Cap? Just be yourself.’ Tony jeered from his seat in the main lounge of Avengers tower. ‘Oh! And don’t put out on the first date, also, let _them_ pay, it shows—’  
‘Drinking before breakfast, Tony?’ Fury snapped, plucking Tony’s glass from his lolling hand. Tony protested and tried to grab it, but the director just stepped back. Tony gave up, and instead offered his best moue.  
‘Well, surely you’re not surprised by now, Director? I’m just tryna get my four basic food groups.’  
Fury sniffed the glass’s contents. ‘And whisky is one of those now? My father will rejoice to hear it.’ The man deadpanned, and put the glass on the nearest table.  
Tony just slouched lower in his chair and sniffed, annoyed.  
‘I would’ve thought last night could’ve kept you on your ass long enough to get this over with, Tony.’ Clint commented smugly from where he was leaned against a far wall, arms crossed over his chest.  
‘Hey, where’s Natasha?’ Tony asked the room, ignoring Clint. ‘Has anybody seen Natasha?’  
‘Agent Romanov will be escorting our guests in, Stark.’  
‘Ah, the hot redhead card, eh? I would tip you my drink, but…’ Tony looked around forlornly and finished with a sad pout toward Fury, ‘I don’t have one.’  
_‘As a matter of fact Sirs, Ms Romanov and the Asgardian princes have just entered the main elevator.’ Jarvis announced._  
‘Alright, people,’ Fury said, straightening up, ‘look alive.’  
While Fury went to fetch Bruce and the team primped each other up, Tony was thinking about Clint’s comment. _Definitely gotta find that club again,_ Tony thought, _banging that Loki was so much fun… Shit! Stop, what if gods can read minds?!_  
With his facade of coolness shattered by that thought, Tony stood up to straighten his jacket, thinking desperately of pink bunnies.  
_Bunnies, rabbits, bunnies, pink bunnies… Playboy bunnies…_ Before he could stop it, last night’s Loki came to his mind again, but this time wearing only bunny ears and lacy panties with— _Stop it Tony!_  
For the first time in a long time Tony felt his cheeks flush; just in time for the elevator doors to open.

Natasha stepped out first with a suave smile, leading the two aliens to where the Avengers had gathered.  
‘Mister Thor Odinson, a pleasure to finally meet,’ Fury said, stepping forward to clasp the Asgardian’s hand with both of his own.  
‘As to you, Furious Nick, I’ve heard much of your endeavours.’ Fury just gave as much of a smile as he could muster without looking too murderous, and turned to introduce to team.  
‘Princes Thor and Loki, may I introduce Bruce Banner, the…’ Tony tuned out, starting with the observation that Fury never actually greeted Loki. Thor was _huge,_ crossing the room in just a few strides and with shoulders like the Hulkbuster, he was definitely the most domineering presence. Of course, that was offset by his almost puppyish expression and glad tidings, but Tony hastily reminded himself this was a millennia-old god he was meeting, even though he may not look like it.  
Loki, on the other hand, lived up to everything and more Tony had heard about him. Where Thor looked like a buff ComicCon fan, Loki actually exuded the power Tony had heard about. Thor’s armour was minimal, yet still ostentatious, but Loki was covered head to toe in traditional Asgardian robes of leather and embroidered space-silk (that Tony couldn’t remember the actual name of, but new was naturally bullet-proof) and still looked more princely than his brother. He walked without really stepping, more like gliding, and with his hands clasped behind his back and gold jewellery adorning his shoulders and neck, he looked thin and waif-like, yet incredibly regal. His features were… Elfish (though Tony knew better than to say that out loud), with high cheekbones and darting emerald eyes, he was quite possibly the most stunning man Tony had ever seen.  
Squinting a little at the thought coming to existence in his head, Tony felt something strange settle in his stomach.  
He hadn't seen much of the hooker’s face last night, of course, but he knew whatever pimp had been paid a small fortune had definitely been paid well, because he clearly knew his stuff. The green eyes flashed to him, the lips twitching, and Tony went cold all over. Surely—  
‘—And this is Tony Stark, SHIELD’s top weapon technician and provider, and advisor to the Avengers as Iron Man.’ Tony blinked away from where he’d very clearly been caught staring at Loki by the god himself, and found himself with a face-full of Asgardian pectorals.  
‘Man of Iron! We have heard much of your exploits back home,’ Thor released Tony with a hearty clap on the back. ‘and let me be the first to say Asgard’s armour smiths are impatient to meet you and your creations.’  
‘U-hum,’ Tony chuckled nervously, despite his usual ability to smooth-talk anyone he laid eyes on. ‘Yeah, same to you, buddy. Hope you like it here.’ Thor beamed a smile to match his biceps, and stepped away. Tony suddenly felt like he could breathe, but then had his breath taken away again. _Shit, I totally banged Loki._  
‘A pleasure to finally meet you, Mister Stark. I’ve heard great things.’  
All Tony could do was give a too-wide smile as he took the god’s hand, which was cold. Loki’s smile barely reached his eyes. _Can gods read minds?!_ Tony thought, the desperation in his need to know actually making him grimace. To add insult to injury, the way Loki’s smile turned upwards into a smirk and a mischievous glint lit his eye was, impossibly, a clear answer to Tony’s question.  
Loki stepped back to join his brother, leaving everyone in an awkward silence, clearly stunned at how inarticulately Tony had responded. Fury began speaking again.  
_This is it,_ Tony told himself, _this is when I die. If not from having my neck snapped, then of embarrassment._ Tony chanced a look at Loki, and only saw the god serenely paying attention to Fury as the man delivered yet another speech. Seeing nothing else to do until he could run away to his room and write his will, Tony tried to tune in as well.  
‘Well then, let me say how much of an honour this is, but also that it will not be easy.’ Nick’s hands went from amicably clasped in front of him to behind his back, and Tony noticed Thor stiffen a little, as if standing to attention in response to Fury’s naturally more commander-like posture. ‘With the Chitauri threat trying to invade and conquer any realm they can get their hands on, Asgard has been volunteering their princes here to whichever realm needs them the most.’  
They already knew this, of course, with the princes’ (read: Thor’s; Tony was pretty sure Loki just stayed with whatever camp they made and combed his hair all day or something) heroic exploits across the universe being pasted on every magazine whenever there was a new title to print. Tony knew they’d just come from politic talks with Muspelheim, unless they stopped off at Vanaheim for a quick celebratory feast, as the Æsir do. It was unfortunate humans weren’t allowed to go to other realms but the inhabitants of others could freely visit theirs (well, not _freely,_ because, y’know, politics, but same gist), but Tony had told himself to not get caught up in it, otherwise he’d drive himself crazy.  
Fury gave them all a level glare. ‘Earth has been targeted next.’  
Tony couldn’t help the eyebrow raise. That was new. ‘So princes Thor and Loki will be staying here, as auxiliary members of the Avengers, training and living with the pre-existing members, until the threat has passed.’ Fury said, silently daring anyone to oppose him with that one fervent eye of his.  
‘Any questions.’ Fury said, clearly expecting none. Tony did notice the man glance at him, as if expecting an outburst, but Tony couldn’t bring his throat to make a noise for risk of attracting a certain deity’s attention.  
A moment before Fury turned to head to the elevator, Thor cleared his throat, and the attention turned to the huge man (alien? God?).  
‘My new friends, first and foremost I’d like to offer my sincerest thanks to the hospitality offered to myself and my brother. It is without a doubt better than some accomodations we’ve been invited to throughout our pilgrimages.’ Thor’s hearty laugh and clap to his brother’s shoulder and impossibly cheery smile were enough to draw a small chuckle from the group. ‘I look forward to calling you heroic mortals shield-brothers and shield-sisters, and have faith we may ruin our enemy once and for all!’ Thor grinned, and received smiles and murmured agreement in response. The attention of the room then turned to Loki, as if expecting a matching inspirational speech, but the smaller god simply crossed one arm under the other and inspected his nails.  
Tony, feeling sick, was drawn back into a memory. 

_Tony somehow managed an amused sigh as the movement on his dick stilled, as threatened._  
_‘… You have to ask for it, you know.’ “Loki” said, a salacious tilt to his lips. Well, if this wasn’t the most uppity whore Tony had ever fucked._  
_‘I’m Tony Stark,’ he said, despite all of Pepper’s warnings to never say that to someone who could later claim child support. ‘I don’t have to ask for anything.’ Tony matched the amused smirk with one of his own, tactfully wrapping an arm around the love-bitten waist he’d had his hands on and flipped Loki under him, pressing in again. Loki moaned in pleasure, but still didn’t reciprocate. As usual, Tony took what he wanted, but just as he was about to finish in the tight channel wrapped around his dick, their positions were flipped again._  
_‘I said you have to ask.’ Loki demanded, puffing out a breath and crossing his arms. Tony almost felt genuinely angry for a moment, before remembering the manager’s warning of their Loki not being a very orthodox whore. Different words, same meaning, though._  
_Tony sighed again, and simply looked at the prostitute above him for a moment. Loki had begun to inspect his nails, arms daintily crossed. Tony smiled and reached up to pull Loki closer to him by wrapping one calloused hand around that slender, porcelain neck. Tony nibbled at Loki’s blood-flushed lips and_ — 

‘Alright then folks, I’ll leave you to your team building.’ Fury said, walking to the elevator doors. ‘Avengers, try not to break the Asgardians, okay?’ were Nick’s parting words, to which Thor bellowed out a laugh. Fury’s parting glare, as usual, was directed at Tony, who made a face back.  
Tony took Fury’s leave as an excuse to look at the now-closed elevator for a second before having to turn and deal with the royal (pun probably intended, but duly not appreciated) mess he’d gotten himself into. Shit, Tony, he told himself once again, how are we gonna get out of this one?

~ O ~

Tony, with cheeks on fire and a weight in his belly, turned to see the Avengers trying to integrate themselves with the Asgardians, despite the fact that they were usually beating up guys dressed like this.  
‘Tony! Come and give Loki a tour, okay? I’m going to show Thor the gym.’ Steve said, bumping shoulders with a jovial looking Thor. _How did they get so buddy-buddy so fast?_ Tony couldn’t figure it out. _Probably part of a super secret blond body-builder's club._  
Without missing a beat, Bruce excused himself to his lab with good tidings to both princes, Clint and Natasha left with respectful bows and claims of hunting down lunch, and Tony was left with Loki.  
The god was leaning on the back of a nearby sofa, his hands tucked behind himself, ankles crossed and looking very much at ease, compared to Tony, who was about to vibrate out of his skin with nervous jitters.  
‘So, um,’ Tony cleared his dry throat, ‘I’ll show you around?’  
Loki just gave a small, calculating smile, and stood.  
Tony took a deep breath and did that little _this way_ gesture when you have to give a tour and you know it’s going to be god-awful shit. Tony was suddenly grateful Loki was walking behind him into the hallway, so he couldn’t readily see Tony’s panicked expression. _Tony! Stop blaspheming! He can hear you!_  
‘I can’t actually read minds.’ A sultry voice came from behind Tony, causing him to stutter in his step.  
‘W-What?’ Tony managed a glance back at Loki to try and judge his standing. All he got was a level gaze of inhuman eyes and a twisted smile.  
‘It’s just the first thing humans are usually thinking when they meet a god, so I like to play along.’ _Right,_ Tony reminded himself, _god of mischief._ ‘It’s fun.’  
Tony breathed a quiet sigh of relief. _It’s a good day when your maybe-last-night’s-prostitute turns out to not be able to read your filthy mind, eh?_  
‘Alright, well, I guess this is where you and your brother will be staying,’ Tony breathed. He’d been walking simply for the sake of walking, and had ended up down the hallway from his own room, to the guest suites.  
Loki stepped in front of Tony, peeking into the room. ‘Shared quarters?’  
Tony couldn’t pick if Loki’s tone indicated he wanted to share with Thor or definitely didn’t, but couldn’t really think of anything over the whiff of perfume that hit him when Loki leaned past him. 

_Tony reached a hand back to bring his mystery hook up forward, fingers catching in long, silky hair. The figure moved over Tony like a stream over river-worn pebbles, and when the “Loki” was suitable straddled in Tony’s lap, he set about consuming the beautiful thing that had come across him. He wound one arm around the man’s thin waist, the other hand cradling the nape of his neck, pulling possessively at the hair. Tony leaned in to nip along the man’s jawline, taking a deep breath while doing so. Pine needles, almost. The fresh, ozone scent of forest saturated the man’s hair, and Tony reminded himself to find whatever conditioner this “Loki” used._

Tony blinked out of the memory to see Loki staring intently at him, a small, curious smile playing over his lips, and Tony decided that gods _could_ read minds. Awkwardly trying to redirect the nonexistent conversation, Tony showed Loki back to the main room they were just in, explaining the TV, lounge, kitchen, laundry (“If you’re into that sort of thing.” The unimpressed eyebrow raise was all the answer Tony needed) and finally the landing deck.  
Tony watched Loki step all the way forward until his toes were off the ledge, and then kept watching. He’d grown up with knowledge of gods, and aliens, and freakin’ _dwarves,_ and though he knew he was destined to have a noticeable future because of his father’s company, he never actually believed he’d truly spend time in the company of an immortal.  
Suddenly, Loki’s presence was a lot more overpowering, and Tony found himself almost short of breath as he watched the god’s raven locks flick about in the wind; the only living part of an otherwise inert statue that was surveying New York City, not unlike a gargoyle on the Empire State building.  
‘So,’ Tony called out, almost yelling to compensate the wind that was buffeting Loki back and forth over the edge. Loki turned as if he wasn’t standing on the ledge of a skyscraper, eyebrows raised in acknowledgement.  
‘… How has your stay been?’ Tony asked, pathetically, once they stepped back inside.  
Loki’s initial response was simply a raised eyebrow. _How does he do that?!_ Tony was jealous. Then, a small smile made Loki look like a completely different person.  
‘Quite satisfactory. Unexpectedly entertaining.’ Loki said, and Tony had to grit his teeth at the tease. Feeling much more confident, he asked another question.  
‘So, what did you do last night?’ he asked as nonchalantly as possible as they walked leisurely over to the sofas so sit. Tony plopped down, his gaze fixed on Loki to determine any clue of a lie he could scrounge up, while Loki practically had cherubs lower him into the seat across from the engineer.  
Shamrock eyes flicked up to Tony, suddenly full of a dangerous-looking impishness.  
‘Quite boring, actually.’ Tony blinked in confusion; a lie or an insult? With Loki he’d been told the two were often interchangeable.  
‘So… You didn’t have any fun, whatsoever? With anyone?’ Tony tried again. Loki’s gaze didn’t waver, though his lip twitched minutely.  
‘Are you trying to insinuate something, Sir Stark?’ The princely, snobby tone was back, and any hint of playful mischief was gone from the Asgardian’s face. Tony blinked again, totally lost.  
‘No! No, just… Wondering. And it’s just Tony. You can just call me Tony…’  
Loki inclined his head a fraction, all hints of offence or hostility gone. Whoever Tony screwed last night, they were nowhere near as complicated as the man sitting in front of Tony now. ‘Then I am just Loki.’  
Tony somehow managed half a smile, wondering how on Earth he got himself into this situation, and just how many times Pepper was going to kill him when she found out.

 _‘So,’ the man breathed as he pried Tony away from his neck to attack Tony’s own. ‘What do I call you?’ He mumbled against the stubbly skin._  
_‘Just Tony,’ Tony felt the soft lips purse into a smile._  
_‘Just Tony?’ He parroted._  
_‘Yeah,’ Tony said, winding his arms tighter around the lithe waist._  
_‘Well,’ the man said, drawing his fingers up Tony’s back to twist in his hair, causing Tony to dig his fingers into the hooker’s sides hard enough to leaves bruises as the man leaned closer to his bared ear. ‘… Then I am just Loki.’_


	2. Chapters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo for timeskips! And can I say a HUGE thank you for the crazy support I've received for this story?!?! *inhale* ........ THA--// For more minutes, please insert more coins. Enjoy your story. //

The first breakfast was surprisingly less awkward than everyone had expected it to be. Tony had woken from a fitful sleep about dark hair twisted in bedsheets to roaring laughter coming from the kitchen, to find that Natasha, Clint and Steve had engaged in a flour war with Thor while trying to make something akin to pancakes. They were all just standing there, covered in flour and laughing to their hearts’ contents, the puffs making the dusted air swirl artfully in the morning sunlight. Tony had just been watching, blinking, and only noticed a slim figure leaning against a wall in the shadows when said figure moved a hand to cover his mouth. 

Much to Tony’s internal hatred for how weak his legs were feeling, he couldn’t help but think Loki looked _really_ cute when he laughed. 

Smiling despite himself, Tony strode over to the kitchen bench to sit down (after dusting off a bar stool, those pyjama pants _did_ cost a small fortune, after all) and demand to be fed. 

A few minutes later, when everyone including the freshly woken Bruce —because despite being super spies and soldiers, no one knew how to use an oven for non-lethal purposes— was busy cooking and mixing, Loki silently floated into the seat beside Tony. Not a word was exchanged, but Tony couldn’t wipe the goofy smile from his face when he’d glimpse Loki’s satisfied smirk from the corner of his eye. 

 

~ O ~

 

The breakfast was cheerful, despite being horribly undercooked, and after the sacrilege committed against pancakes was over, the team (sans Bruce, who had science shit to do) showed Loki and Thor down to the main gym floor. Thor was practically drooling at all the weights on offer, and Tony caught Loki eying the knife collection that Natasha was walking him through. 

Tony left as Thor was hollering at Clint to attack him as he wished to try out everything in the arsenal, but stopped to try and spot Loki.

‘Hey, Jarv?’

_‘Yes, Sir.’_

‘Real quiet, tell me where Loki is.’

A pause, then: _‘Master Loki asked to be shown to the labs, Sir. Since Doctor Banner is currently present on the seventy-eighth floor, I assumed the directions were not given in haste.’_

Tony smiled to himself, strangely enjoying just how much Loki had been surprising him, then pretended to check his watch when he saw Natasha observing him. 

_Goddamn,_ Tony mused, heading to the elevator to say hi to Bruce and for absolutely no other reason, _she’s like a goddamn tiger._

 

~ O ~

 

People were constantly going to the media to spill about spending a night with Tony Stark, but there was definitely a key trait involving every story— the boaster was as dumb as dog shit. 

In other words, it was common knowledge that Tony Stark had a type. But, after spending a few minutes watching Bruce and Loki talk science in Bruce’s lab, Tony had to leave or risk getting spotted pitching a very certain type of tent. 

Additionally, it was common knowledge (heck, common sense!) that Tony Stark could and would always have someone available for any sort of carnal need— that just came with being a brilliant, billionaire superhero. 

Yet, within twenty-four hours of living with Loki, Tony was alone in his bedroom with the doors locked and security cameras down, jerking off as if his life depended on it. As sappy as it was, Tony kept thinking about how Loki’s eyes sparkled when he talked about molecular compactions and the equilibriums of bucky balls and their uses, and the way his fingers curled when he brushed his long hair back. Combine the raw sexuality of theoretical physics (don’t judge, everyone’s got a kink) spilling form Loki’s mouth with the still-fresh memory of hitched gasps in a sex-soaked room, and Tony came by himself. 

Still, there was something on Tony’s mind after he’d cooled off; the image of Bruce’s ecstatic face as Loki calmly spoke was in his whirlpool of thoughts, too. With a feeling of dread and excitement, Tony realised why he’d been so turned on. 

Ownership in the most primal of ways was sex, and Tony had banged Loki (multiple times, in fact). And then Loki goes and knocks Bruce on his ass with scientific information decades ahead of what they’re working on, and Tony feels… Powerful. 

In a sort of perverse _I saw him first/I screwed him firstI_ way, Tony felt like he was showing off, _through_ Loki. 

Filled with a new sense of determination, Tony realised he’d tasted what it felt like to own Loki, to own such an impressive being; a _god_. 

And he liked it. 

_Okay Tony, time to cut the schoolgirl act, we’ve got some seducing to do._

 

~ O ~

 

Just like most of his past dieting attempts, Tony's plan was destroyed by waffles. 

Steve was working the two waffle irons when Tony shuffled out of his bedroom on the second morning of Thor and Loki’s stay, promptly plopping down on a bar stool to flick through the news on a stray StarkPad. However, it was difficult to concentrate when Loki looked so adorable leaning over Steve's shoulder like a curious kitten. His face screwed up as he watched the batter pour in and the lid close, then gave a small awed gasp as a crispy, golden waffle was lifted out by a chuckling Steve. 

Thor was also watching, but seemed a lot more tired than Loki… Or hungry, Tony couldn’t really tell. Either way, the god was drooling on his marble countertop, so Tony threw a few pop tarts over to him. 

Even Steve laughed at Thor’s moan of ecstasy when he stuffed the first of many tarts in his mouth. 

Tony watched Loki laugh and wipe a tear from his eye, and realised he wanted much more than some sort of carnal ownership, _damnit._  

For the first time in a very long time, he wanted someone to like him back. Paying a hooker and having the best screw of your life was all well and good, but now when Tony imagined being with Loki… Well, the image mostly going through his head at that moment was _him_ standing at the waffle irons, making Loki happy like that. 

Doing simple things with Loki. 

Being… Tony's eyes widened and he stiffened in his seat at the concept that solidified and stuck in his mind. 

He… Wanted to be… _Domestic? With Loki?!_

Tony inwardly sighed and hung his head. _You sure know how to pick ‘em, Tony._  

Steve dropped another steaming waffle into the bowl of cinnamon sugar, making Loki smile, and Tony felt his mood sour. 

 

~ O ~

 

'But how can the small ones go to the Undying Lands without dying in battle?’ Thor was very confused. Tony was about to speak up but Loki beat him to it. 

‘Brother, the land of Valinor is not like out Valhalla.’ Loki droned, unbothered on his spot on the couch and picking popcorn salt from beneath his fingernails. ‘Frodo and Sam accompanied the elves because they proved their valour in Middle Earth’s wars against Saruman, so they needn’t die in battle with a weapon in their hands, because they will not ascend to become einherjar.’ 

Thor looked unimpressed. 

‘Just sit down, brother.’

Thor huffed, but sat down nonetheless, while Tony was staring, dumbstruck, at Loki, while sporting a massive nerd-boner. 

 

That night, Jarvis interrupted Tony’s imagining of Loki in Leia’s chainmail bikini with an alert.

_‘Sir, you asked to be notified if anyone ever left the tower on seemingly suspicious business?’_ Tony sighed.

‘Yeah.’

_‘May I inform Sir that Master Loki has apparently teleported from his room, after dressing in day clothes.’_ Tony frowned. 

‘Do we know if anything’s going on, Jarv?’ The answer came to him as he was speaking, though. 

_‘I beli—’_

‘Never mind.’ Tony groaned, scrubbing a hand over his face, erection gone. Loki had stuck out to whore out, huh? 

Tony couldn’t hold back the next few hundred sighs as he spent the rest of the night fretting. 

 

~ O ~

 

Again, Thor was interrupting a beautiful part of a classic movie. 

‘What?!’

‘Brother sit down.’

‘But how is the dark one Luke’s father?!’

‘You know how it works, Thor, I’m not explaining it to you, now sit do—’

‘Did you _know_ of this?!’

Tony couldn’t help but laugh to himself at Thor’s antics as Loki simply blinked lazily at him.

‘Analysing the behaviours and irregular speech, yes, I saw it coming.’

Thor threw his hands in the air in obvious defeat at apparently having been betrayed by his own brother, and dropped back onto the couch. 

 

~ O ~

 

‘Hey,’ Tony said lamely as he joined Loki on the only unoccupied balcony of the top floor. The party was raging inside, casting neon shadows over Loki’s face. The god took the offered drink and frowned into it for a moment before looking back up at Tony, seemingly troubled. 

‘This is liquid.’

Tony blinked a few times. 

‘Uh, yeah.’

‘Unless you humans make alcoholic drinks differently to how I remember, hay is still for horses.’ Loki explained. 

There was a long moment of silence before Tony burst out laughing, Loki eventually joining in. When the laughing stopped, not another word was said, and the two simply sipped their drinks and observed the New York cityscape as it was lit up. 

‘Tony,’ Loki spoke, again sounding troubled.

‘Yeah?’

‘I fear there is about to be an explosion.’

Tony didn’t have time to answer before there indeed was an explosion, but not the kind either men were expecting. 

Gold and red filled the sky as the fireworks began, and Tony made sure to watch Loki’s reaction and capture the memory as he knew the Asgardian would never have seen anything like this before. 

Loki simply smiled as if nostalgic, and Tony couldn’t help but ask. 

‘… Have you seen fireworks before?’

Loki glanced over, undisturbed in Tony’s obvious disappointment. 

‘By another name, yes.’ Loki turned back to watch the show, and Tony saw the fireworks reflected in the god’s eyes. ‘Light elves are a race of magic, and enjoy prestidigitation involving light.’ Was all Loki said. The two stood and watched for a few more minutes in silence. Finally, Tony spoke.

‘… I wish I could go to all those places.’ It was more of a thought spoken out loud than an actual conversation starter, but Loki looked over at him nonetheless. 

‘I’m sure the day will come soon when Midgardians are allowed travel to the other realms.’ Loki looked back to the lights show. ‘Though the stowaway attempts have been amusing.’

The two chuckled, and right on time, Tony felt the alcohol kick in. 

‘Hey, Loki?’

‘Yes, Tony?’

‘How’d you really pick that Darth Vader was Luke’s father?’ Tony heard a soft puff of laughter come form Loki.

‘Where my brother is the one who smashes, then asks questions, I pride myself on being the political contact of our troupe. In other words, I make it my business to always know what the other realms are up to since it comes in handy so often in negotiations. Your Word Wide Web makes this especially easy.’ Loki sipped his drink, and Tony nodded in endorsement.

‘Hey, Loki?’ Tony spoke again after a long silence. 

‘Yes, Tony?’ The god sounded tired, and Tony knew Loki knew what he was about to ask.

‘What happened the first time we met?’ Another long silence, and Tony eventually found it in himself to look over at Loki. 

Tony studied the god for a minute; the sharp nose, intelligent brow and bright eyes surveying the city, and was struck again by how otherworldly and beautiful Loki was. Tony shuffled his feet, somehow ending up closer to Loki. He swallowed, nervously and loudly, and Loki looked at him, as serene as always. 

Tony tried to search for some meaning, some message, in Loki’s eyes, but could only see an intelligent being studying an ant, and told himself, _fuck it._

Kissing Loki then was nothing like kissing the hooker he’d spent the night with weeks ago. Kissing Loki on that balcony, in the night air, surrounded by firework light and smoke, was exciting and aptly tense; a slow burn of passion they had to let smoulder by itself. Tony brought a hand up to cup Loki’s neck, rubbing into the strands of hair at his nape, and got chills when slender fingers held softly onto his wrist. 

Eventually they had to pull away for air, and Tony found himself desperately studying Loki up and down, to somehow reassure himself that had actually happened. 

Loki’s eyes fluttered open, and Tony was unnerved and excited to watch Loki act as if nothing especially fantastic had happened. 

Tony’s free hand came up to grab Loki’s and bring it between them, to rub a thumb over the knuckles.

‘… I don’t know what to do with someone who sneaks out every night, to—’ And like that, the hand slipped from his and in a blur of green, Loki was gone. Tony for a moment assumed it was because Loki hadn’t really wanted to kiss Tony and needed time alone, but then Tony actually heard what he’d just said and nearly smacked himself out of frustration. 

‘Oh my fucking god,’ Tony groaned to himself, grabbing his face and leaning on his elbows on the balcony railing. ‘Jarvis, is Loki still here?’ He grumbled. 

_‘Scans show Mister Odinson is not in the building.’_

Tony sighed again, scrunching his fingers into his hair. _Stupid, stupid, stupid._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was crap since I hate filler, but next chapter is a bit more eventful. Can I add this story is mainly a look into the type of person Loki is due to Thor's (that is, all of Asgard's) treatment of him, and I'm really just trying to explore this in a FrostIron... So, yeah, some Loki's Kids-based feels are coming up. Just saying. Stay tuned!

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, 4k words, that's actually big for a first chapter, at least for me (though the italics formatting was a BITCH). If you liked, let me know what you thought! Comments are great, but I love all of you anyway! *kisses*


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